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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476851">Intensity Bonus Chapters</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aearyn/pseuds/Aearyn'>Aearyn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:49:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aearyn/pseuds/Aearyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>**Removed this from the main Intensity story, which had wrapped up, so I can post random chapters intermittently without ruining the continuity of the main story. Warning: the first bit was written when I was in a Bad Place so it's...depressing.**</p><p>It's been over a year since the incident with Lord Maltis. Ailis has been training with Vaylin, learning to control her new Force abilities. Minor incidents have occurred here and there, but nothing earth-shattering. Until this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arcann (Star Wars)/Original Female Character(s), Arcann/Female Jedi Consular | Barsen'thor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ailis's head rested in Arcann's lap.</p><p>Sun filtered through verdant leaves, painting a dappled pattern that danced across warm skin.</p><p>But Ailis was cold. A chill that could not be dispelled, a silence that could never dissipate.</p><p>A shudder snuck through her, and Arcann winced, but kept his hand moving over her hair. She took a broken breath, held it for a moment, and then released it, slowly. Trying her best to release her pain along with the air that rushed out, but knowing she failed.</p><p>Logically, she knew she should use the Force to calm herself, stifle these recurring waves of despair and emptiness. Get back on her feet, get back to the base, distract herself with work.</p><p>But it seemed an affront to do so; stuffing down grief that was only too justified, shrinking the well of agony that seemed a fair enough response to her loss.</p><p>Her sister…the brightest light in the galaxy, the one who had always kept her grounded after her 'promotion' to Alliance Commander, who had always listened without criticism any time Ailis wanted to complain about the perils of the position.</p><p>This time, all the platitudes about being one with the Force meant nothing to her. Her sister was gone, and she was genuinely doubtful of whether she could keep functioning in a world where that brilliant star no longer existed.</p><p>Yet again the image surged to the forefront of her memory, the last time she'd seen her – that warm smile, her burnished copper hair, her ready laugh as they embraced.</p><p>Ailis choked and curled into Arcann's chest, her whole body tensing with grief, sucking in breaths that seemed to burn their way through her, never quite filling her lungs. Along with her heart, they could never be full again, not given such a hard and solid lack in her soul.</p><p>It was bad enough that Aoife was gone. Bad enough that she'd taken Ailis as an example, had died trying to be brave, sacrificed herself for others.</p><p>But the knife of despair was twisting even more fervently in Ailis's chest because…it was her fault.</p><p>If she'd brought Aoife to Odessen like she wanted, her little sister would still be here.</p><p>
  <em>Her…baby sister…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Arcann flinched again, his own eyes rimmed red and raw, more from trying to hold back his grief than from actually letting it flow. He couldn't break down, no matter how agonizing it was to <em>experience</em> the waves of profound, penetrating sorrow that radiated off of her, washing over him periodically, nearly drowning him in their depth.</p><p>He knew of her pain. Understood it all too well, although there had been no doubt, at the time, that Thexan's death was no one's fault but his own. His own lightsaber had dealt the killing blow.</p><p>An attack that, he later learned, had been nowhere near severe enough to kill his brother. Not without 'assistance' from their nemesis, their bane; their father.</p><p>But he had no such information then – nothing to convince him that he hadn't just murdered his twin, the other half of his soul, cut him down in a fit of rage.</p><p>Valkorion had thought he controlled everything, wielded supreme power over the lives of his children, and the rest of his subjects. But it was that moment, when Thexan fell, that Arcann could feel his insides turn to dust, his heart crumble, his soul wither. Then again, Valkorion had indeed engineered that incident…so perhaps he'd been correct in his assumption.</p><p>No one but Ailis knew what Thexan's death had done to him. Not even Senya, although she had some idea. Everything Arcann had become afterward; every command he'd heeded, every atrocity he'd committed, every life he'd taken. All of it was a sort of twisted monument to Thexan's absence. He'd finally proven himself a monster, become what his father wanted. All he could do was own his true nature, embrace it. Be the beast he'd been born as.</p><p>But none of that was important now – over the past year and more, Ailis had helped Arcann wade through the morass of his memories, had even insisted that they dig deeper, investigate to find the true cause of Thexan's death, convinced it could not be as cut and dry as it had seemed.  And she'd been right.</p><p>The weight of regret that had dissolved when he'd found out the truth was…astounding. And his adoration for her multiplied a hundredfold; she had already done so much for him, and now, for her to be the instrument that cleared this calamity from his conscience...it seemed almost impossible for him to love her more, but he did.</p><p>And almost immediately, within weeks, that weight had resettled onto her shoulders, instead – undeserved. There was no justice in the galaxy if such a horrifying thing could happen to his Ailis.</p><p>Her little sister was protected by Alliance guards ever since the incident with Darth Vilius. She'd been watched out for more discreetly, prior to that; various Republic friends checking in a little more frequently than was normal. Enough to make Aoife chafe at the surveillance, insisting she could take care of herself – especially once she moved offworld from Mirial.</p><p>Once she'd joined the crew of an anti-slaving ship, Ailis still kept tabs on her whereabouts; Aoife could never quite figure out how there was someone reporting back from virtually every port. Theron's doing, little though she knew it.</p><p>She'd asked more than once to come to her sister on Odessen, join the Alliance. But Ailis had refused. Ever since Vaylin had attacked the base…even though Vaylin was the opposite of a threat now, Ailis was nervous that such a thing could happen again.</p><p>She'd even been trying to get her sister back to Mirial; it was safe, away from the Core planets, and away from Odessen. But Aoife wouldn't dream of it – she relished the work she was doing, and balked at the idea of living with her parents again, although she still visited them often.</p><p>Ailis fretted for her younger sibling, mainly when she heard of some exploit of her crew – a dangerous slaver turned in for a bounty, or a group of slaves liberated from a powerful Hutt.</p><p>Aoife always assured the Commander that she and her cohorts were very cautious, not leaving anything to chance, quiet and cunning. They were much too wily to get caught, she said.</p><p>Until they weren't.</p><p>They'd gotten the call  yesterday. A trap, information leaked, highly secured files hacked. Theron was beside himself, taking nearly as much blame as the Commander, frantically searching the code to see if he'd missed anything, if something he'd done had led to the security breach.</p><p>Arcann still suspected one of the crew of turning them over for profit, but he had no facts to back this up, just a hunch and hearsay.</p><p>It didn't matter now, not when his love was inundated with the crushing weight of her loss.</p><p>But later, when it came time to lay true blame – Arcann almost felt sorry for the slaver who'd actually killed them.</p><p>Then again, no, he didn't. Not really. He deserved whatever punishment Ailis could come up with; Arcann would be happy to help with ideas.</p><p> </p><p>Ailis got control of her labored breathing with great effort, stilling her shuddering sighs through sheer force of will. What little she could muster of it, anyway. She covered Arcann's hand with her own, where it rested against her face.</p><p>She knew her sister wouldn't want her to devolve into a shadow of herself, her spirit shaken so deeply that its outline wavered, insubstantial. Aoife would tell Ailis that her sister's strength was what inspired her to do good in the galaxy, and she couldn't just leave that behind because something bad happened.</p><p>Something <em>bad</em>…something soul-shattering. Something heart-rending. Something impossible to recover from.</p><p>But she couldn't just…waste away. She had responsibilities; people depended on her. She <em>must</em> recover.</p><p>She raised her head, looked at Arcann's face for the first time in what seemed like days. He'd been so patient, so compassionate, and yet so solid and reassuring; she knew he must be suffering a great deal of what she was, given their bond. She hadn't considered it until this moment, as buried in grief as she'd been.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I've been unfair to you, I should have—"</p><p>"Hush."</p><p>She would have smiled at any other time. As it was, she relaxed against him again, this time with her head on his shoulder. "Thank you."</p><p>He kissed her forehead. "Not necessary. You needed me."</p><p>She gave a little nod. He was so kind…sometimes she wished others could see this side of him; more than what little he allowed, anyway. But then again, she didn't really mind having this to herself.</p><p>Aoife would have loved him so much, and she'd barely even gotten to meet him.</p><p>Her breath hitched. If she'd just let Aoife come here, she'd still be alive. They could have spent more time together, they could have—</p><p>"My love, <em>please</em>, do not—"</p><p>She wrapped her arms around him, and dissolved again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Look, this is <em>my</em> fault, and you need to let me fix it, Commander—"</p><p>"Theron! This is a direct order, and I am well aware how fond you are of completely ignoring me but this time you will do as I say, is that clear?"</p><p>Theron flinched, utterly unused to such a tone from the Alliance Commander. But after what had happened earlier that year…he felt too guilty to argue too much. Twice as guilty, now…</p><p>"Y-yes…"</p><p>She seemed to sag against the table. "Good. Thank you."</p><p>"Ailis, please, I'm asking as your friend, do not do this. You don't know these people!" He had to try one last time.</p><p>Her eyes glistened for a moment, the lights of the planning room reflected in the gleam. This time, when she replied, her voice wavered, walking the edge of composure. "I soon will. I have to do this, Theron."</p><p>"You're behaving like a Sith," Lana chimed in, a last-ditch attempt to make the Commander see reason. "It's not very Jedi-like to go after someone for revenge, no matter the impetus."</p><p>"I know what you're doing, Lana, and it won't work. You know very well I haven't associated with the Jedi in some time. Your needling is meaningless."</p><p><em>For what it's worth,</em> whispered a breath in the back of her head, <em>I agree with you. But don't go getting yourself killed. I would be…perturbed. </em>Vaylin didn't speak to her that often, now; she tried her best to maintain her distance from the base, and Ailis sensed that her presence seemed a little weaker, of late…</p><p>Lana cocked her head. "Vaylin's encouraging you, isn't she."</p><p>Ailis permitted herself a small, empty smile. "Of course."</p><p>Lana put a hand to her forehead. "At least take us with you. Take <em>me</em> with you – Theron's not recovered enough yet."</p><p>"As if I give a shit about my health at this point, Lana!" Theron cut in, tone liberally laced with anger and regret. "The only way they got to her—"</p><p>"Theron! Do not. Make me Force-muzzle you," Lana interrupted, her voice low and hard, hands curled into fists at her side.</p><p>Ailis stared at Lana for a minute. "I don't think it's a good idea, Lana. We both know you run the base when I'm not here…and sometimes when I <em>am</em> here."</p><p>Lana sighed, unable to argue this.</p><p>"I'll take Senya."</p><p>"And Arcann, of course?"</p><p>"Of course." She rarely went on missions without him; Vaylin had been instrumental in weeding out some of her brother's detractors – probably hoping that Ailis would come after them with her newfound Force Lightning, but instead she merely used psychological tactics to win them over. Vaylin was disappointed, but overall she didn’t complain much. At least Arcann was mostly accepted, now, across the Alliance.</p><p>"Fine," Lana allowed, although it was obvious it cost her. "But keep in touch with us. I'll handle things here, and Theron will get you into their compound, but I strongly request that you not 'go dark', as you are wont to do."</p><p>Ailis pursed her lips together, this time to repress a genuine smile – an expression seen few and far between over the past few days. Little did Lana know – or maybe she did – why Ailis would occasionally go off the grid temporarily when out on missions with Arcann…</p><p>"Yes, my lord."</p><p>"Stop calling me that."</p><p>"Of course, my lord."</p><p>"Well I'm happy to see you're back to yourself a bit, at least." Lana rolled her eyes and left to make preparations for Ailis's journey.</p><p>The Commander turned back to her other adviser. </p><p>"You've grown quiet Theron…I assume you still disapprove?"</p><p>He glanced up from his determined perusal of the floor. "Of course I do. But…"</p><p>He swallowed, and Ailis tilted her head to one side. "What else is bothering you?"</p><p>"Maybe you should find someone else to help you get in."</p><p>"Are you <em>that</em> against it?"</p><p>"No, that's not it, I just…" He rubbed his eyes. "What if I make a mistake? Another…mistake?"</p><p>"You haven't made any mistakes, Theron – well, I take that back, there was one rather big one, of course, but—"</p><p>"That was a calculated risk and look at what we found out, you said yourself—"</p><p>"Theron. Hush. I was just joking – we've already been over this, and we needn't do so again now. The point is…I trust you."</p><p>"I'm not sure if that's wise. We still can't be sure I didn't cause the leak that—"</p><p>"I <em>am</em> sure."</p><p>He sighed, shook his head. He always seemed reluctant to bear people's faith in him. But when he looked back at her, his eyes seemed a little brighter. "Thank you."</p><p>***</p><p>That night, Ailis lay awake, Arcann's left arm a welcome chill against her back, her quarters a little too warm after their exertions. She had been too overwhelmed for lovemaking for several days, but tonight she'd needed the emotional connection, the reassurance she felt in his embrace. Sometimes it seemed that was the only place she could find peace. But the galaxy needed her – always needed her, a never ending string of disasters and incidents that required her attention.</p><p>Would it ever be over? Or would she die without knowing what it was like to just…exist, with him? Without having another galactic catastrophe to resolve? Their time together relegated to evenings in their quarters that were always liable to be interrupted…dinners cut short by an urgent message or a summons to the War Room…</p><p>She didn't know why she'd become so…exhausted with it all, lately. Even before Aoife…she'd begun to feel confined. Trapped.</p><p>But it was her duty to continue helping the galaxy, that was the point of the Alliance, the cause that she had started! But had she? Was it really <em>her</em> choice to become the leader of such a potent galactic power? On par with the Supreme Chancellor, or the Sith Empress? She'd never intended such a thing…</p><p>She may have gone head-to-head with Vitiate, and again with Valkorion, but she was still just a person. A Jedi, by training at least, but not some powerful being.</p><p>Long ago, fifteen years now, when she'd been young and idealistic and headstrong, she'd been determined to become a Jedi, after that Sith had attacked her and her sister. She would help people, protect them, she vowed. Becoming a Jedi would give her the ability to do that, on a much bigger scale than just hanging around her village on Mirial, tending to sick and injured locals.</p><p>But she'd seen so much since then. She'd lost friends, family – and now, her most important family of all. She'd learned, the <em>very</em> hard way, that sometimes people didn’t listen to reason. Sometimes the solution just couldn't be found. Sometimes people died, and there was nothing you could do about it. Not with the best intentions, not with Force abilities, not with an entire Alliance at your back.</p><p>She was distracted from her dark musings when Arcann turned over, pulling her over him. She hadn't noticed how much she'd cooled off, and was grateful when he pulled the blanket over them both.</p><p>"I can feel you worrying," he murmured, and with her head against his shoulder – where it belonged – the rumble of his voice was a soothing reminder that she wasn't alone in this.</p><p>"I'm sorry I woke you."</p><p>"Are you concerned about what we plan to do? Or something else?"</p><p>She smiled against the warmth of his neck, then kissed it. He hadn't even hesitated when she told him her intentions, immediately supporting her, knowing this was necessary.</p><p>"I suppose. But…both of us have done stupider, more dangerous things…"</p><p>"Remember that time you dropped a building on me?" he asked conversationally.</p><p>"Mmm…remember the time I sat in a creepy chair on an abandoned planet and pushed a button whose function was a mystery?" she teased.</p><p>"Don't remind me, I was beside myself…"</p><p>"The point is, I think we'll be okay. I just…I wish we could take a vacation. I wish I could have time to go visit my parents, instead of just talking to them on the holo. I wish I had the luxury of actually processing what's happened…"</p><p>He was silent, and she worried for a moment that she'd said too much.</p><p>"Ailis…"</p><p>His tone of voice made her raise up a little so she could look at him. He brushed tangled hair away from her face.</p><p>"Every time we go to some other planet…not Nar Shaddaa, or Coruscant, but…remote places, where it's quiet…I remember."</p><p>She leaned into his hand, and waited for him to continue.</p><p>"I remember Yavin 4, how peaceful it was out there on your property, even though someone was – even then – trying to kill us."</p><p>She gave a short laugh.</p><p>"And every single time, I think about not coming back."</p><p>She sat up a little straighter, her elbow beneath her. "You…you what?"</p><p>"I think about what it might be like, to just…disappear, with you, to leave all this, to stay in some nowhere village on a planet in your Outer Rim."</p><p>She kissed him then, unable to believe that he'd shared this desire, imagined the same thing. Sometimes she wondered if their thoughts influenced one another's, since their bond was so strong – but when they argued, she was reminded that they each had minds of their own, and while they could affect each other, they definitely weren't sharing a psyche.</p><p>"I wish we could," she spoke fervently when she finally drew back. "Even just…for a while."</p><p>He nodded. "I know it is impossible, but I consider it, all the same."</p><p>She relaxed against him again. "Perhaps someday, my love."</p><p>His arms tightened around her. As she drifted to sleep, she somehow felt comforted. Even though they had no prospect of achieving it, at least they held the same desire in their dreams.</p>
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